Well here I give you a small Insight into my own personal vision, my Secret garden, my tastes about life, love, lust and music...
It all began with a Shout by a guy on January 16th 1973 , who was given a New Life and a some serious start in Life.I began all this alone, my only Sibeling, having unfortunately left me some years ago ... 

Iíve been lucky, my parents educated me well and the best way they could... They showed me Love in itself , that People are People, weíre not animals , you have to respect others as well as they respect you... and that youíve got to Work Hard to finally get something valuable in life 

I was lucky enough in my childhood, Iíve been close to Deathís door, but with luck I could Shake the disease that was spreading in me...finally everything seemed to get right with me and I had a nice childhood, a bit alone , but nice anyway , being an imaginative kid with my head full of Stories of Old, Iíve always been attracted to history and to facts people make you keep In your memory, at that time I was attracted by archeology ... 

There was a sudden change in my life, I think I always tried to search my own Personal Jesus , something strong and Sacred , By the age of 13 I discovered Depeche Mode, in 1986, and since then I Just canít get nough of their music, but even with that , even if I was deep into religion something changed in me, it was just A question of time since I would change and this suddenc change came , And then .... 

I was just a Little 15 but I think of those Dangerous times and stupid things Iíve done I feel a bit of Shame, I think I hit The bottom Line at that period, I had dark feelings in me, all I wanted was like having a Black Celebration, wanting to have Nothing More than a party , and acting like Fools with the people who were my friends at that time. 

I was quite dark at that time ( maybe my Memphisto personality revealing at that time) I was thinking everything I would do would be Useless, and around us there was nothing but a World full of Nothing. 

I was just Waiting for the night to fall , to see things different ways, and taste all different Painkillers to ease that pain in me... I think that at that time I sometimes wish I was dead, I barely was Home and made my aprents worry about me , I know now that I shouldnít have done that, but I had this stupid feeling of Freestate where that Pleasure,Little Treasure I was looking for, was near me...

I always knew I was far from that Sweetest perfection people look into others... I knew something was wrong that I had to Get the balance right again in my life Itís no good to be left his way and to being carried away by this Sea of sin... but I knew at that time that Any second now, I could turn to something bad, I didnít felt well Walking in my shoes, I had to Rush to being better a again, to be more " Clean ", before it was too late... like a Two minutes warning before the accident... 

It hasnít been easy to being back , it still isnít now ,it seems like youíre coming out of Pipeline where you barely see the exit, and when you come out of it, It seems like youíre staring down the Barrel of a gun. 

What is Even harder at these times is to see all these people who Lie to me, and hurted me by the Things you said... It seemed that I had a bad Halo , that all aroud me seemed to turn bad like a Monument collapsing, it was like the Sun and the Rainfall between the situation I lived before, even if it was more Dangerous I felt better before...Finally you see that all around you is a game of " Master and Servant " where people use you until they donít need anymore . And after that they Leave in Silence, without you noticing, leaving you alone to Enjoy the silence, this silence which can hurt sometimes... you feel like all people around you act like Judas... thatís hard to see that finally hear those Blasphemous rumours about you that start when people donít need you anymore, all you want to do is get back In your room to cry in silence and ease that pain and telling that this thing beating inside you and itís called a heart, isnít turning into a Ice Machine and making you unsensitive 

I just wanted people I care for to Never let me down again. Itís during that time that you have to find that Mercy in you... to forget all those bad moments, to see that it doesnít matter anymore this feeling of being nothing else but Puppets. And that I did decided that my policy in life would be the Policy of truth, cause even if it hurts itís better to know how clearly things are... 

All this seem to be strange ... but thatís plainly life itís just A question of lust, pain, and love, Iím sure all of these are really related to each other... 

You may feel some Condemnation about my way of thinking and acting... Iím just trying on my own to get again Behind the wheel , leading my own life as I want...I may have lost part of My joy in my life but after all Iím still here... 

Now I finally found that thing basic and so hard to find : Love 

I donít want someone dreaming of me , cause that wonít ever happen, Iím no top model or superman... I found that Somebody that will shows me the real Meaning of Love , who with One Caress lets me say "I Feel Loved" and make me feel the happier Iíve ever been, and I try to make her feel the Happiest girl in the world....Iíve really got that Higher love not a Strangelove where we are both happy, wanting no more than to See you and Feel You 

I want to have and to hold these moments, like taking a photographic picture of them and keep them all inside me... 

Finally Itís Only when I lose myself in Someone else then Iíll find myself, so I want it now, I want to give her all that Love inside me and share that vision of the World in my eyes, which for now is still nice but I fear may turn darker with time like the "Dead of Night" ...I may have " Stripped " myself a lot in this message, but thatís how I truly am, and just know that Everything counts in this world, for anyone, even some simple words sometimes to help someone feel better and finally Breathe freely... 

Right now with that Love and care I Shine in my life and feel so much Freelove from the one I love, that I can keep the Dream On in my life making me go further away

I got married to someone who's really important to me, that lovely woman called Perrine shows me everyday that Nothing's impossible, we share very Precious moments, and living in such hapiness i can Suffer well, because I know there's someone in my life now that make all this matters and if Love is considered a pain so now it's A pain that I'm used to.

that mas my few thoughts of my life , helped with words of Depeche Mode 

thanks for reading it all 

Pimpf 

Enjoy... 

" Iím taking a ride with my best friend , I hope he never lets me down again... " 

Thanks to you , You know who you are ... my love...

does that help to recognize?...